


Run Away (Rewrite)

by Sinsanity



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Anxiety, Hurt/Comfort, I promise it gets better, Lies, M/M, Manipulation, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, They all are just hurt, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, and need cuddles, patton has feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2020-07-30 22:56:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20104996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinsanity/pseuds/Sinsanity
Summary: It was an honest mistake on his part that led to him abandoning the three most important people in his life. To being trapped in that stupid apartment with yellow walls and a ticking clock.But now, three years after being entangled in lies and sickeningly sweet promises, he's going to leave and be free again. Maybe he'll even be happy again too.





	1. Freedom

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I make no promises on updating like a normal author (Whats that?)  
BUT I will attempt to get at least all the already finished chapters rewritten and published within the next two weeks!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Unsympathetic Deceit, mentions of abusive and manipulative relationships

The apartment was quiet, the only sounds being that of the clock ticking in the living room and the sound of his own heavy breathing and pounding heartbeat. He had been gone for 10 minutes now, just long enough to assure Virgil that he was gone. Now it was just about taking the risk of him coming back too soon. 

Still, it was a risk he was willing to take. He didn’t know if he could stay in the apartment anymore. Not after having listened to the same ticking clock, the same roar of an engine leaving and approaching that signified how trapped he was, the same jingle of keys locking and unlocking the door that kept him smothered. He couldn’t stay and watch the white ceiling as he tried to drown out his surroundings, watch the clock tick by proving that no matter how much time passed, nothing changed.

He wouldn’t be trapped anymore.

Pushing himself off the couch, he rose up, his knees trembling with fear and trepidation. 

If he was caught now, he’d never get another chance. 

He quickly stumbled around the apartment grabbing the few things he’d dared to call his own and stuffed them into a bag. Things that belonged to him and not the monster. They weren’t pretty trinkets or silken clothes. In the bag there lay a worn black and grey jacket, a smaller bag containing money he’d saved on his own from the few times he’d been given freedom, a small portion of food and water, and finally, a broken locket shaped like a heart. 

The locket was gold and held four pictures, three being of individual men and one containing himself and all the men together in a group photo. One side of the locket had a chip at the bottom, leaving a small opening that allows you to see the edge of some of the pictures.

He quickly swung the bag over his shoulder before stalking towards the window warily, trying to strain his ears past the sounds of his own racing heart to listen for any sign of the owner of the apartment returning.

A minute passed as he waited with baited breath before he finally crept forward, his hands shakily reaching for the edge of the window, before lifting it up allowing fresh air to rush at him, filling his nose with scents of fuel and freshly cut grass. A small laugh left him as he quickly removed the screen, carelessly tossing it to the floor as he shoved his head out the window with a bright smile. 

He was finally going to be free!

After three years of struggling to discern between truths and lies and attempting to do the impossible, he would finally get the chance to be happy again.

Tears began to stream down his face as he shoved the bag through the window before swinging his leg over and maneuvering so that he was dangling outside the window. Taking a deep breath, he let go of the window sill, dropping down into a less than graceful crouch that left him stumbling with some pain in his legs. 

He quickly grabbed his bag before gazing up at the open window with a grin. 

It had been three years since he first entered that apartment after being fed lie after lie about his lack of worth. Now he knew how foolish he had been to give up the people that made him so happy, but back then the lies had been so natural to his ears that he ate them up like Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit. 

He wondered, how often must you lie for it to become a natural instinct in every situation?

It didn’t matter anymore, because he was tired of being lied to and manipulated. He was tired of sitting still, so now he’s going to run.

WIth one last glance to what once felt like a home, he began to sprint down alleyways, climbing over and through fences. Perhaps he didn’t need to run, but he could never be far enough away from that snake of a man. 

* * *

The sun was beginning to set leaving the sky a wide array of shades of blue, purple, pink and orange.

He would almost call it beautiful had it not brought along so many dearly missed memories.

With a tired sigh he found a little divet in the wall behind a dumpster and climbed into it, tugging his bag close to his chest as he listened to the sound of the traffic mere feet away from him. The smell of pastries filled his nose as closed his eyes. Attempting to catch some rest before another long hard day of running away, however the sound of approaching footsteps startled him awake. 

He desperately clutched his bag close to his chest as his heart sped up, his breath hitching as he watched a pair of feet approach him. He heard whoever was approaching, whistle a cheerful tune as they got closer and closer. 

Virgil was ready to dart away at the first sign of trouble as the man stopped right in front of him before a loud banging sound alerted him that the man was merely throwing away some trash. This thought, however did not occur to Virgil quick enough as he let out a startled squeak at the loud sound. The man who had been about to leave suddenly stopped, the sound of his whistling cutting off as well, and Virgil wanted to slap himself for being stupid enough to give the man any sign that something was amiss.

‘Go away!’ He thought as he frantically stared with wide eyes at the man’s feet. It felt like hours had past before the cheerful tune picked back up as the man finally left. 

A sigh left Virgil’s lips as he let some of the tension in his body leave. He waited for a little while to see if the man would attempt to come back, but after some time he deemed it safe to finally get some rest in his little hole in the wall home.

So he closed his eyes, praying that tomorrow would be a good day.


	2. A Caring Man and A Yellow Crayon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil was having a hell of a day, but not in a good way. But maybe a kind act from a caring man can turn his frown into a slightly less harsh frown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: Panic attack, Flashbacks, Unsympathetic Deceit, Abusive/Manipulative relationship

Today had been rough. He had woken up to the sound of people making out, very close to having sex right there and then, before scurrying away to avoid such a sight. Then a car passed him while he was walking on the sidewalk, spraying filthy rain water all over him and his only semi-clean pair of clothes. And to make matters even worse, he had returned to his little hole in the wall to find the dumpster had been moved, giving the whole world a view into the tiny place he called home.

Virgil huffed as he tossed his bag against the wall before pressing his back against it and sinking down, his knees pulled close to his chest as tears began to well in his eyes. Why couldn’t things go his way just once!?

He froze at that thought just as the tears finally spilled over and streamed down his flushed cheeks. 

It wasn’t fair of him to think that way. Not after he had the chance to have a happily ever after with his own three princes. No, things did go his way once, and it was his own fault that he was in the mess he was now. 

Heaving a sigh he let his legs stretch out into a pike position before he wiped his cheeks with the damp sleeve of his hoodie.

He didn’t know how long he’d sat there, his mind racing with thoughts of the past, present and future all at once. It was only the sound of footsteps that snapped him out of his mind as he scrambled to get up and race down the alley to hide behind a bunch of boxes. 

His heart raced as he panted heavily, eyes blown wide with panic. He heard the footsteps stop for a moment before they retreated once again. Letting out a breath of relief, he turned to reach into his bag to grab a granola bar before he tensed. He looked beside him and immediately took notice of the fact that his bag was indeed not there.

The footsteps began making their way down the alley once more, this time accompanied by someone humming a tune. 

Virgil took a peek over the boxes as soon as he heard the footsteps stopped, watching as the man placed a plate of food, containing a sandwich, a couple cookies and wrapped in plastic wrap, down right next to his bag. The man turned to scan the alley as Virgil ducked down to avoid being seen, before retreating back to wherever he came from.

He held his breath as he waited in silence to see if the man would return once more, but after a few minutes, he cautiously peeked from behind the pile of boxes to see the plate just sitting there by his bag which had been left untouched. Slowly rising to a crouch he scanned the alley before hesitantly making his way towards the plate of food. 

His mind raced with warnings, _ it’s poisoned or worse drugged, he knows you’re here, run, he’ll rat you out to him, run run run, get out of here, you’re not safe, RUN RUN RUN.  _ Shaking his head to dispel the thoughts, he reached a trembling hand out to peel the plastic wrap off, staring at the food as though waiting for it to jump out and eat him instead. When nothing happened, he gripped the sandwich before raising it to take a bite, humming with delight as the flavor assaulted his taste buds. 

His hair stood on end as began to take larger bites of the sandwich, tearing into it like a vicious animal. Without thinking, he went to grab a cookie pausing just a moment before as he thought. He should save the rest for tomorrow.

Letting out a sigh of disappointment at his own decision, despite how logical it was, he grabbed the plate of food, placing the wrap around it once more before stuffing it into his bag. With that he made his way over to the pile of boxes where he curled up and closed his eyes, trying to block out the thoughts that made him want to tear his hair out, instead falling asleep.

_ “Virgil… Virgil get up!” His eyes snapped open at the command as he looked up, his eyes meeting with a hazel eye with golden flecks and a milky white eye that caused shivers to run down his spine.  _

_ Dee. _

_ “Come on babe, I mean, running away? Do you really want to be alone so badly?” His body began to tremble as he heard him practically purr. “I should have known you would only abandon me too, after you left them so easily. Always chasing after someone or something else. So selfish.” The man sighed as Virgil’s eyes brimmed with tears. He turned away from the man, his gaze falling to the ground as his hands fidgeted anxiously. _

_ “I-I didn- I’m sorry- you- I-” Suddenly Dee stood up, causing Virgil to curl in on himself a little more. _

_ “I suppose if you truly do want to be left alone, I shall not stop you. I should have known better than to take in a mutt that lived off of running from home to home, only breaking hearts in his own selfish attempt for happiness. I’m sorry I ever loved you Virgil.” His words held no heat to them, instead holding and almost mocking tone, as though he knew he was playing with Virgil’s heart, just like a fucking piano.  _

_ With a frown on his face, Declan had turned, taking a step to leave when Virgil launched himself up just enough to grab his hand. “No!” _

_ He paused in his departure, turning his head slightly to look at Virgil from the corner of his good eye. “Virgil, please, I’m tired of hurting, of watching you live happily as though I mean nothing to you. As though you do not love me…” Stop. He wanted it to stop. He did love Dee. He loved him so much, but all the lies. All the pain… _

_ The man had waited for a moment, hoping that Virgil would make the next move, but when the trembling man made no move to comfort him, he tugged his hand away. _

_ “Goodbye Virgil.” _

_ “No! Please, Dee! Declan, I- Please I love you!” He cried as he wrapped himself around one of the taller man’s legs, clinging tightly to his black steps to prevent him from leaving him alone again. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I- You- I’ll try to be better! Please believe me Dee, don’t leave me!” His voice became unintelligible as he devolved into a mess of snot and tears, choking on his sobs as he begged the man to love him, to need him, to take him back and forgive him for his mistakes. _

_ WithVirgil’s face hidden in the crook of the other’s knee, he failed to notice the crooked smile of the other man as he reached down to pet his greasy hair.“Oh, Virgil, of course I’ll take you back. Always baby.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so, I feel like I should explain the second part of the chapter title, obviously yellow is Deceit/Declan's color and the reason it says yellow crayon is because Dee had left such a big mark on Virgil's life in so many ways, just like a crayon, because once you use crayons they DON'T COME OFF. 
> 
> Also I wanted it to rhyme :)


	3. A Few Years Can Change So Little (Yet So Much)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has taken back control of his life and gained the freedom to roam, however, there are things from the past keeping him chained to his mistakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'll try to post the next two chapters tonight, I just need to finish editing and hope that my internet will let me post bc it sucks >:(  
Maybe my boss will let me come in and use the wifi there...
> 
> WARNINGS: Mentions of drugs, and alcohol

Virgil woke up to the sound of shuffling footsteps, his eyes barely open as he watched a pair of worn brown shoes shuffle around in front of him. The man placed another plate of food down on the ground in front of him, wrapped in saran wrap. The plate contained a biscuit as well as a steaming pile of eggs a couple of slices of bacon and a muffin of some sort. His ears barely picked up the words the man had said as he stood up, “Take care of yourself kiddo.” 

Those words left him frozen as the man left the alley once more. It had been years, but Virgil could never forget that voice. That kind and gentle voice that constantly hushed the voices in his mind telling him how worthless he was. The voice he once loved and cherished.

Patton.

The man that had been so kind as to help a random person on the street, who could’ve been a murderer or thief, or worse! Of course, it was Patton. The apartment had been pretty far from his old home with them, so he didn’t think he’d ever had any chance of reuniting with them. What luck he had to run into one of the people he was so keen on running from.

The amount of sun flooding the sky, as well as the sound of traffic, told him that it was probably some time around 10 am give or take a few hours. If he left now he would avoid running the risk of Patton returning and seeing who he was. However, if he left now in daylight, he risked being caught by the man anyways or worse being caught by Roman or Logan, if they were anywhere nearby.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the plate of food, carefully stuffing it into his bag before closing it and swinging the strap over his shoulder. He tugged his hood tighter in an attempt to conceal his face. He didn't want to know what would happen if Patton caught him. He didn't want that heartache and pain.

So, he trudged along, avoiding anywhere that held too many people, or small areas that reeked of alcohol, sex, and/or drugs. He had stopped a few times, to sit at the park or in a secluded spot where he could eat and rest for a moment, Never staying in one spot for more than an hour at a time.

By the time the sun had started setting, a storm had begun. It started with rain just barely coming down, but it quickly escalated into a heavy downpour, leaving him drenched, his hoodie weighing him down as he navigated along the now empty streets. The road he was on was almost completely deserted, no sign of life around. Just worn and decrepit buildings that looked as though they were on the verge of collapsing, along with a few empty cars. Some looking like they had just been left there to rot, forgotten. 

An idea struck him as he glanced around the area, twisting this way and that in an attempt to search for any cameras or signs of anyone watching. When he saw nothing and the horrible feeling inside his stomach had dulled, he scanned the buildings and cars. Was it worth it to risk breaking into a seemingly abandoned building that may or may not have someone inside it, and could possibly fall on him as soon as he opened the door?

Probably not. So, mind made up he rushed towards the nearest car, tugging at the handle. Nothing. It was locked. Running to the next carl, he tugged at the handle, hoping it would give way as his frame trembled, cold and tired. Once again, nothing happened.

He repeated the action, again and again, fruitlessly tugging at car doors until one finally opened to his insistent tugging. A smile bloomed on his face as he let out a hoarse laugh, however, the relief didn't last as not a moment later, the lights of the car began flashing as a loud shriek echoed down the street. His grin slipped from his face, replaced by fear and panic as he saw the lights of one building light up. 

Virgil froze, staring in abject horror as a man walked out of the building, it didn’t look like a house, rather a small shop, that wasn’t important at the moment though. What was important was that standing just feet away stood yet another one of his ex’s, and his feet wouldn’t move.

Logan stared at him, his expression cold and calculated as he silently analyzed the situation, concluding in mere seconds. “I hope you were not planning on stealing my car, nor the belongings of mine that reside within the car.” Virgil hurriedly shook his head, his feet still frozen as he stared at the man in front of him, who had changed so drastically, and yet not at all.

“Hmm, I’m not entirely inclined to believe you, seeing as you are not only near my car, that is still going off mind you, but your hand is gripping the handle quite tightly, leading me to believe you were attempting some sort of theft.” His expression stayed the same, save for a casual raise of one brow as he stared at Virgil almost, but not quite accusatory.

“T-That’s, um, that’s a fair asses-assessment!” He laughed nervously as his frame trembled. “I-I was, um, looking for a like safe p-place to-to stay and um, I wanted-wanted to um seek sh-shelt--shel-” he groaned, the words not wanting to leave his mouth. “A pla-place to hide from the um, the r-rain.”

He watched Logan watch him for a moment before the other let out a heavy sigh, his hand reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose as Virgil let out a small sneeze. “I’m going to regret this...” he muttered before making his way towards Virgil, moving past him to disable the car alarm before stepping back. “Come along. I’m not a fan of aiding criminals, but assuming you were simply seeking shelter from the rain, it would be cruel of me to leave you out here.” Virgil’s feet finally seemed to get the message as he followed Logan into the building, which turned out to be some sort of library or bookstore.

“I suppose you were lucky, or maybe unlucky? I do not usually stay late, but I had extra work tonight, hence why I had the opportunity to meet you.” Virgil nodded, keeping his head down as he relished in the warmth surrounding him now that he was out of the rain. 

“I believe I have an extra pair of clothes around here somewhere, please refrain from moving or touching anything while I go fetch them. I would hate to have to call the police at this time of night for a petty thief.” With that, the analytical man turned, leaving the room and heading into another room. Virgil stared at his retreating form with wide eyes, brain not quite catching onto what was happening.

Following his instructions, Virgil stood in place, barely shifting as he waited for his ex to return. He gazed at the series of books lined up on the shelves, bookshelves filled the room. He wondered if Logan merely worked here or if he had finally accomplished his dream of running a book shop of his own. 

Footsteps alerted him of the other’s return as he stared at the approaching man. “I hope this will fit, they may be a tad small on your form, however, they should do. I’m afraid I do not tend to keep your aesthetic around, however, I do have a jacket that may suit your taste and comfort, should you want it.” Virgil nodded, shakily reaching out to accept the clothes, watching Logan warily as he did so. “The bathroom is right down that hall, please place your wet clothes in the sink, I will dry them in the morning.”

Virgil nodded once more before stumbling towards the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind him. He tried to lock it but found that there was no lock. He froze in fear before taking a deep shaky breath in an attempt to calm the queasiness in his stomach. Pushing himself away from the door, he set the clothes down on the lid of the toilet before beginning to strip away his sopping wet clothes.

The dark soddened clothing peeled away from his pale, trembling form before he placed them in the sink, ringing them out slightly before he set them down. Once his form was bare, he quickly put on the clothes Logan had given him.

A pair of blue plaid pajama pants, as well as a grey t-shirt, hung off his form, the pants inching down his legs, too large over his thin frame. “And he said they would be too small...” he muttered under his breath. He pulled the drawstring in the waits taut before tying it, making it so that they didn’t slip past his hips. He quickly pulled the jacket on before making his way out of the bathroom and back to his prior spot in front of the door, standing on the ‘Welcome’ mat.

Logan exited a room from behind the check-out counter, glancing at Virgil before doubling over in shock, covering his mouth as he coughed. “A-Are you okay?” He asked, his voice destroyed as he fought the urge to go over and help the man. 

Logan waved him off, quickly recovering and straightening up. “My apologies, you simply reminded me of someone. It was also quite shocking to see you are quite smaller than I perceived you to be.” Virgil’s lips quirked slightly as he peeked out from under his hood slightly.

“I get that a lot.” Not really. He used to though. Everyone would tell him that with his bulky clothes, he almost looked like he retained something other than water weight. But no matter how much he ate, his body never seemed to gain more than a few pounds which soon were also lost to wherever it all went.

Logan nodded and gestured for him to sit at one of the tables. “Would you mind me asking what you were doing outside so late at night, in such a sorry state?” Yes. Yes, he would mind. Virgil ducked his head as the other man stared at him expectantly but patiently. 

After a few moments of internal soothing, he spoke, “I’m trying to go somewhere.” He glanced up, hoping that was enough. He should have known better. Logan was always the pushy and inquisitive one. Always trying to gain more knowledge than he needed. Sighing, he hugged his arms close to his form, “I got myself into a bad situation and now I’m trying to get away from it. Get somewhere new and safe where I don’t run the risk of running into people I used to care about and people who aren’t good for me.” Way to spout your entire sob story, Virgil. He bit his lip as his thoughts raced.

“I see. I don’t suppose you have anyone you can call to come to get you then?” Virgil shook his head as Logan sighed. “That’s unfortunate. Well, I suppose I shall text my partners to tell them that I shall not be returning home tonight.” Virgil’s eyes widened as his head shot up.

“No! It’s fine, please, I- please, I can take care of myself! I-I’ll go grab my clothes and um, and leave! I won’t-” He was cut off as Logan raised his hand, effectively silencing his worrying. 

“It is of no trouble. They will understand. It is not the first time I have stayed over at my shop for a night. And Patton may just kill me if I let you go out on your own in this weather.” Virgil's breath hitched as he stared at the other with wide teary eyes. 

The anxious man's mouth opened and closed, gaping like a fish as he struggled to figure out how to respond to that. “Thank you,” He muttered, staring at Logan as tears began to make their way down my face,

He nodded before standing up. “I’m afraid I do not have anywhere to rest here, although I do have a few bean bag chairs if you would prefer to sit in those. Feel free to read a book as well, if you wish. However, I do ask that you refrain from stealing or damaging anything. I will be watching.” Virgil gulped and nodded hurriedly as he gets up and walks away.

Standing up was difficult, but manageable, allowing him to wander a bit, scanning the various book titles before finding one that held a dark cover. Peeking inside, he read the summary and the first page before deciding it would keep him entertained. 

He made his way back to his seat, glancing to where Logan sat, typing away on his laptop. 

Virgil sat down, leaning his elbows on the table before opening the book as he began to read in hopes of escaping reality for just a moment.


	4. He's Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan and Roman argue and Patton is done with everyone's shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK. SORRY FOR THE UBER LONG WAIT!
> 
> WARNINGS: Panic Attacks

“I can’t believe you let a complete and total stranger stay the night here!”

“Would you have rather me leave the ‘stranger’ to hide away in my car? Or should I have thrown him out into the streets to possibly steal from someone else? Honestly Roman, I do not understand your thought process in this situation.” A scoff sounded from one of the voices. 

“Come on guys, let’s not do this now…”

“We wouldn’t be doing this at all had Smarty McSmartypants here thinks he knows everything!” 

“I hardly believe that I know everything, though I certainly do know that I have more knowledge than you.” 

Virgil’s brows furrowed as the voices grew louder, waking him from his slumber and causing him to be on edge immediately. Yelling was never good. Yelling meant something was wrong, that he was wrong and he’d screwed something up.

“See! He always belittles me!”

“Roman, he’s just-” The quiet voice had tried to speak up only to get cut off by a loud authoritative voice.

“Perhaps you should remember that you started an argument with a lack of evidence and facts to back up your statements. It is not my fault that you rely so heavily on your emotions.”

“Logan-”

Virgil’s eyes shot open wide and alarmed as a loud growl rung through the bookstore. His entire body jerked back causing the chair to topple backward as his slim frame fell to the floor. Silence rang throughout the room for a single moment before hurried footsteps raced towards him. Tears welled in his eyes as he scooted backward, trying to get away from whoever was approaching. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay kiddo.” The voice spoke gently, cutting through his own harsh and panicked breaths. “Breathe with me, sweetheart. In for 4…. Hold for 7…. Out for 8…. There you go!” Virgil kept repeating the process until he was eventually able to glance up at the man. Bright brown eyes that shone like an acorn in the sun beamed down at him, matched with a gentle smile. Patton.

“There you are kiddo. Not gonna lie, I was a bit scared when you disappeared from behind my shop. I guess I just hoped that you had found a better place to stay.” His smile grew sad as Virgil tucked himself away into the borrowed hoodie. 

What terrible fucking luck he had.

~*~

It had been a huge mess from the moment he showed up. Roman and Logan were arguing nonstop, always trying to one-up each other. Patton had given up trying to defuse the situation a long time ago, instead, taking a seat beside Virgil who kept his head tucked low throughout the entire ordeal, only glancing up when Patton reached over and held his hand. 

“We don’t even know his name!”

Logan scoffed waving his hand at Roman as though to dismiss his statement. “Of course I do it’s Vi-” His words choked off as his eyes suddenly widened. Virgil’s eyes bore into the side of Logan’s skull, his form tense as he squeezed Patton’s hand in a death grip. 

They know. Logan knows. They hate him. They’re going to yell at him or kick him out.

“That’s enough!” He jumped as the man next to him suddenly stood up. “I understand that the situation is stressful but this is not the time or place to be having such an argument. Virgil… Virgil left Logan. I don’t know what happened to him, but he’s gone.” The atmosphere felt heavy and somber as the usually cheerful man spoke. 

“And Roman,” the boisterous man flinched as his name was spoken, “It’s not fair of you to judge someone you don’t know. It’s a scary situation and I understand that we’re all tired and a little upset right now, but we are a group of civilized men and we are entirely capable of talking this out in a calm and orderly manner. Am I clear?” The four men stood frozen, staring at Patton with something akin to terror. 

“I said, am I clear!?” Roman and Logan both nodded, hurriedly assuring Patton that he was heard loud and clear. 

Sun shone through the windows illuminating the bookstore in natural light, but now it felt so dark and stale like a cave.

The three men sat down around the table, Patton gently squeezing Virgil’s hand in reassurance before letting go, allowing Virgil’s hand to slip into the hoodie pocket, tingling from the loss of warmth and affection.

God, he was a pitiful creature.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did get decently far when I wrote the first and 2nd drafts of the next few chapters, but as my skills and style have adjusted, I became unhappy with how they were written, much like what happened to the original Run Away story, but instead of rewriting everything again....  
I just rewrote chapters I hadnt published yet.  
Sorry yall had to deal with the long wait. Again.  
Not gonna lie this probably won't be the last time this happens.


	5. Another Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil reconnects with Patton as someone else and makes a new friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who has actually finished plotting down the rest of the story and cried while doing so?  
Yall are in for a ride!  
Anyways, enjoy the chapter and stay safe during these troubling times!
> 
> WARNINGS: Minor blood and gore mention on an animal

Roman and Logan had both gone their separate ways after the blowout, leaving just him and Patton.

“I’m really sorry about all of that, kiddo. Things have been rough here, and none of us are very good at dealing with our emotions” Patton said. His voice gentle as he stared at Virgil, sadness in his eyes.

Virgil shook his head staring down at the wooden table, trying to keep himself from crying at the close proximity of another human being. One that didn’t want to hurt him. Not yet anyway. Who knows what any of them would do if they ever found out who he was.

“You know, Logan was right…” Virgil started, his head jerking up to gaze at Patton with fear. “Oh, no! Don’t worry, it’s nothing bad! You just… We had another partner a while ago. One day he just up and left without any explanation. I guess I just can’t help but be reminded of him when I look at you.” Patton’s eyes were staring through him, his expression fond but sad. 

Hesitantly, Virgil reached out a hand to hold Patton’s. “Maybe he thought it was for the best.” He watched as Patton’s eyes widened, tears filling the blue orbs as his ex tugged his hand away before brushing the tears away.

“Heh, sorry about that… I guess I’m still not over him.” Virgil felt his own eyes well with tears at the prospect of Patton still missing him even after all the pain he put them through. Even after all these years, he was still mourning Virgil.

“Never apologize for your emotions.” He watched as the other man nodded, a gentle smile crossing his face before he suddenly gasped. 

“I never even got your name! I doubt Logan remembered to ask you either. Jeez, we really are a huge mess.” Virgil giggled as Patton’s face flushed in embarrassment.

A small, fond smile tugged at his lips as he recalled an old nickname of his. “You can call me Angel.”

“Well, it’s wonderful to meet you, Angel. I’m Patton, and those idiots are my partners, Logan and Roman.” Virgil watched as Patton looked at Logan and Roman with so much love in his eyes. Wishing that that same look would be focused on him. Just once more.

Suddenly he frowned. He had no right to wish for that. After all, he was the one that decided to leave them. He sighed before placing a fake smile on his lips as Patton turned to face him again.

It was going to be a long day.

~*~

It had indeed been a long day, filled with fake smiles and painful tugs at his heartstrings. However, it had also been the best day he had had in a long while. 

Patton had shown him around the shop, his eyes bright as he scanned over the many shelves of books and a skip in his step as he dragged Virgil around, never running out of something to say. Not that Virgil minded, the more Patton talked, the less he had to.

But alas, all good things must come to an end. Hence why he stood in his now clean clothes at the entrance of the small bookshop, in front of his three exes who stared at him with a mixture of hatred, disgust, intrigue, joy, and sadness. The first two mainly came from Roman, who looked as though he could not wait for Virgil to disappear from their lives. How ironic.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around…” He said moving to salute the group of men as he walks out of the bookshop. As soon as he stepped outside, his nose wrinkled with disgust at the smell of exhaust and old oil from the nearby restaurants. 

A sigh left his lips as he started to walk down the sidewalk, keeping an eye out for places to stay that weren’t risky or already taken by other homeless people. Which was far more difficult than it sounded.

Eventually, he had found a secluded area on the edge of town. Far enough away from the bustle of people that hopefully nobody would stumble upon him and report him for sleeping there or try to steal what little he had. 

The small space wasn’t the cleanest place, but it was secluded. Virgil huffed out a sigh of exhaustion as he leaned against the chipped concrete wall, sliding down it until his butt had touched the cold ground.

He had just begun to drift off when a shuffle and small thump as the end of the small space had startled him awake. He peeked an eye open, glancing at the dark area, trying to devise an escape plan in his head should whatever made that noise become a danger to him. His breath stunted as his eyes strained to see against the darkness.

“Mreow!”

He exhaled, a chuckle slipping past his lips as his body once again relaxed. A cat. He had been freaked out by a cat. Turning towards the dark area, he made a clicking noise as he reached a hand out towards the darkness. The cat lout out another small mewl as it trotted its way towards him. 

Its fur was mangled and covered in dirt and unknown substances, but he could just barely make out the pale orange tint of its coat. Chunks of fur were missing from places all over its body, showing scabbed over and scarred skin. Its eyes were swollen almost completely shut with eye boogers crusted over the lids. Snot had crusted around its nose as well and there was dried blood over its mouth.

Virgil couldn’t help but coo as the mistreated cat sniffed at his hand before nudging against it, signifying its want for his attention and love.”You poor thing, you’re so skinny and filthy…”

A small smile graced his face as the cat let out another mewl followed by a low and broken purr. “I guess it’s just you and me…” He sighed as he looked up at the night sky, searching for stars that were barely visible amongst all the light pollution from the city.

He smiles as he recalls the information Logan used to repeat whenever they looked at the stars. Just like that, he fell into a restless sleep, a stray cat purring on his lap and thoughts of space lulling him to sleep.


	6. When Laughter Leads to Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton hadn't expected Angel to show up at his shop. Then again, Virgil hadn't expected it either. Yet, here they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have an early chapter, because I have been in the zone the last few days! And I swear I meant to make this chapter completely happy, but somehow it still ended up sad. Oops.   
Anyways, as long as everything goes according to plan, which it literally never does, then with this chapter, we're officially halfway finished with this story!
> 
> WARNINGS: Graphic description of a panic attack, unsympathetic Deceit mention.

Patton had watched Angel leave with a sad smile on his face. He had watched the door even after his small frame had disappeared from view. He didn’t know why. Maybe he’d hoped that Angel would turn around and decide to come back. Maybe it was because Patton was lonely and wanted a friend. Maybe it was because Angel was just so much like the Virgil he’d known years ago.

The skittish boy who had tried to disappear right in front of everyone’s eyes despite his fashion sense standing out so much. The small, shy smile that would light up his face when he thought nobody could see. As though he wasn’t allowed to be happy.

Sighing, Patton turned to go back to his normal routine when he saw Roman holding a sobbing Logan close to his chest. His brows furrowed as he stared at his partners with sympathy. It wasn’t hard to figure out why Logan was crying. They all missed Virgil. As much as Roman denied it, and Logan tried to bury his emotions to hide it. It just wasn’t the same since he left.

He walked over to his two boyfriends, wrapping his arms around the two men, closing his eyes and thinking,  _ ‘Where did you go, Vee? Why won’t you come back to us?’ _

And just like that, the three men stayed huddled, all suffering through a heartbreak they thought they’d been over. It was rare that Logan openly showed so much emotion, especially negative emotions. So when he had burst into tears, Roman had wasted no time tugging his lover close to his chest, resting his cheek on Logan’s head as he listened to him sob and felt his body tremble and lurch from the overwhelming grief.

After all of them had exhausted their energy, they drove home. A tense silence filled the car as none of them spoke. Nobody knew what to say, but they all knew what they felt. Something was missing. And the introduction to the man known as Angel was just a reminder of what they were missing.

~*~

A week had passed since Angel had walked into Patton’s life. It was like going backward, because as soon as Angel had left them, Patton couldn’t help but flashback to waking up to Virgil missing.

A chime cut the baker off from his thoughts as he glanced over at the door, a bright smile plastered onto his face. “Hello and welcome to- Angel!” Suddenly his smile brightened as he hurriedly rushed around the counter to encase the other man in a bone-crushing hug, however, the surprised scream from the other man quickly had Patton retreating as he pushed himself away, instead, placing his hands on Angel’s shoulders.

“What are you doing here kiddo?” Patton asked, watching as Angel’s eyes widened slightly, his ears tinting red as he curled in on himself slightly.

“I uh, was touring the town and saw you in here and figured I’d stop by, and ya know, say hi or something…Sorry, this was a stupid idea! You don’t even know me.” 

Patton tightened his grip on the other’s shoulder causing him to let out a small squeak. Patton waited for Angel to look him in the eyes before he spoke, “Angel, you are welcome to come see me any time. In fact, I was really upset that I may not have ever seen you again after you left.”

He watched as Angel seemed to flounder for words before his eyes began to fill with tears. “Aw, sweetheart, no don’t cry!” He cried out in an attempt to soothe the thin man. “Here why don’t you go sit down, and I’ll see if I can take my break early so we can talk for a bit?” He asked, smiling when Angel nodded in agreement.

With that, Patton rushed into the back room to inform his coworkers that he was taking his break early

~*~

As Patton turned to leave, Virgil shuffled towards a booth located in the back of the small cafe/bakery. He really hadn’t meant to come here, he’d just been traveling through the nooks and crannies of the city in search of food and wound up at the same place he’d been when he first reunited with Patton. If you could even call it that. Either way, he was here now and leaving at this point would just be suspicious.

Sighing, Virgil accepted his fate as he sat down, staring down at the wooden table while waiting for Patton to arrive. Thoughts began to cloud his mind as he waited.

Why am I even here? Patton doesn’t deserve this. Am I really going to walk into their lives again only to leave when trouble pops up? Why should I get to be happy? It’s not fair. I miss them though. But does that matter? After all, I’m the one that left. I-

“Sorry about that kiddo!” Patton’s voice called out as he made his way over to Virgil, sitting down in the seat across from him. Virgil didn’t even have to force a smile on his face as one formed naturally upon seeing the giddiness in Patton’s expression.

“It’s fine Pat. Anyways, what did you want to talk about?” He asked, watching as the man across from him tilted his head like a puppy. 

“Nothing in particular kiddo, just figured it'd be nice to catch up, maybe get to know each other better!” Virgil grimaced as Patton spoke, knowing that they already knew each other too well for his own liking. 

‘I-I guess?” He watched as Patton’s smile softened to something gentle and fond and couldn’t help but think back to how he used to look at him all those years ago. Shaking his head clear of the memories he, in all his stupidity, blurted out, “What would you like to know?”

“Oh. Well, I guess whatever you’d like to tell me, kiddo. I’ve gotta admit that I’m a wee bit curious as to how you ended up in the rain where Logan first found you, but I don’t want to pressure you into saying anything.” 

“I…” He began, trying to find something to say. 

Casting a glance up at his ex, Virgil sighed, sinking back into his seat, his eyes staring at the table once again. He didn’t want to lie any more than he already has. And really, what would it matter. He wasn’t planning on staying here too much longer anyway. There was no reason to lie to Patton about this.

“I-I… I hate blueberries.” He froze as his mind took a moment to process what he said. As soon as the words registered, his face flushed from embarrassment. Patton’s laughter could barely be distinguished from the rushing of blood in his ears. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I said that!” Virgil cried as he hid his face in his hands.

“N-no, no! I’m sorry for laughing, I just- I didn’t expect that with the troubled face you were making!” Patton giggled, wiping a tear from his eye, his cheeks flushed almost as much as Virgil’s own.

Virgil groaned as Patton struggled to stop laughing but soon joined in, letting a laugh slip past his lips as he actually let out a full-bellied laugh for the first time in a while. His chest constricted as he wheezed and gasped for breath. His own laughter rang through his head as he threw his head forward, laying his cheek on the table as he failed to contain his laughter.

Tears sprang to his eyes as his stomach cramped from the constant contractions. His shoulders shook and his body trembled. Before he knew it, the roaring laughter had turned to heart-wrenching sobs as Patton sprung up before rushing to envelop Virgil in a hug, allowing him some form of comfort. 

“I-I’m sorry! I’m so so sorry, Patton!” He cried out, his words catching on small sobs that he struggled to keep within his chest. He went to say more, to apologize again and again, for leaving the other man, for leaving Roman and Logan. For trusting a manipulative asshole. For making them fall in love with him in the first place. 

But he couldn’t. His voice was shut down as another wave of pain and emotion crashed over him, nearly drowning him as he struggled to breathe. His everything felt fuzzy, like when a part of your body starts going numb. Flashing dots crossed his vision that seemed to be shrinking by an ever-present shrouding cloud of darkness.

The man holding him merely shushed him as he rocked them back and forth, his fingers tapping a rhythm as he hummed. 

Before he knew it, Virgil had closed his eyes, his body too tired from the sudden break-down to even try and make sense of anything. It all seemed so fake. Like a dream or a fragment of a dream that he couldn’t exactly recall.

As his mind slipped away Virgil couldn’t help but let one last apology slip past his lips. 

~*~

Virgil had woken up to the chime of a bell, his head pounding and his eyes feeling as if someone had made a poor attempt of putting false lashes on them. He pushed himself up onto his elbows, rubbing his eyes before he took a glance around the area, noticing that it was still daylight, but more importantly, he was still inside the quaint and homey cafe. 

“Oh! You’re awake!” A voice called from his side, which his brain soon recognized as Patton. “Sorry for leaving you in the booth, kiddo. I was afraid of waking you. You looked really worn out and I figured if I’d tried to move you, you would’ve woken up.”

A moment later, his memories caught up to him, reminding him of the events that had occurred before he’d gone and passed out. In Patton’s arms.

Letting out a pitiful groan, he sat up looking at Patton with half-lidded eyes, still heavy from exhaustion. “How long was I out?”

Patton looked at him sympathetically, “Not even an hour.” So not that long. At least he wasn't a total wreck. With a sigh, he stood up, stumbling for a moment as his heart pounded in his ears. “I’m really sorry about all this, Patton-” 

The other man quickly interrupted him, “Don’t worry about it, kiddo!”

“-But I’ve gotta go...feed my cat.” He said, dragging his feet as he quickly fled the diner, weaving his way through back alleys and deserted streets to the same alley he had slept in. He wondered whether or not the cat would be there again. 

When he had arrived at the alley and sat down by his pile of things, he’d looked around the area, searching for his feline friend before sighing.

He was alone yet again. What a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, and wash your hands. Yall should know the drill by now, but still!


End file.
